October 15 – A day of awareness

Many of you may know that my second daughter, Kelsi, lived only a few days. She was born 16 weeks premature. Yes, 4 months early. She was so small. I have never seen a smaller living human. She weighed only 13 oz and measured a mere 8 1/2″ long. My little girl fought hard, but in the end, we had to let her go. There isn’t a day that goes by that she isn’t in my thoughts at some point.

Today is October 15th and it is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness day. I am so glad that I live in the time I do. Had my baby been born 100 years ago, it would have been a very taboo subject. And it would have been a common occurrence. By having my baby now, I am met with others that can also empathize with all that I have been through. I am able to help them as they walk the path of grief that I walked just prior to them. The subject is still slightly taboo to talk about. There are a lot of people that dismiss the death of a baby, especially when it comes to miscarriage. I am so fortunate that Kelsi was born alive. It throws me into a different group of women where my grief is acceptable and I don’t have to fight the fight of grieving a baby that has been lost. My heart breaks for my many friends that delivered a still baby and watching their grief somehow not be as acceptable. Any loss is horrible at any stage. The lost dreams. The lost memories that will never happen. The lost love and experiences. All of it is a loss. All of it is heartbreaking.

Tonight at 7:00 in every time zone there will be a wave of light that passes over the nation, if not the world, as mothers and loved ones light a candle for our sweet babies that were taken from us too soon.

My dear sweet Kelsi, I will always wonder who you would have been. I will always miss you. And most of all, I look forward to the day we reunite.

Kelsi_foot

8 thoughts on “October 15 – A day of awareness

  1. Dharlee

    I cannot imagine the loss. Losing a child at any stage is terrible. My heart goes out to all who have gone through this. Please rest assured that she is now in loving and caring arms. And she waits for you in joy.

    Reply
  2. Kathy

    Thanks for sharing – my Robyn has been gone for 38 years and I still think of who she might have become and miss her every day.

    Reply
    1. Melissa Muir Post author

      Kathy, this December we will have Kelsi’s 10th Birthday and Angel Day. There are times that I feel like it happened just last week. I am sure it isn’t much different than it is for you, even if it is 38 years. (Your Robyn is my age.)

      Reply
  3. Darrel Clegg

    My heart goes out to you and prayers are your way and what a warm thought that yes you will meet her again, live the life that makes it happen. 😉

    Reply
    1. Melissa Muir Post author

      Thanks Darrel. I am certainly trying to live the life to make the reunion happen. 🙂 My living children might disagree with it, but I think that is their job. HA!

      Reply
  4. Lecia Woessner

    Melissa, thank you so much for your amazing post. I’m so sorry for your loss of your precious baby girl Kelsie. I was not aware that today was a day of awareness for pregnancy & loss, I certainly would have lit a candle as well. I love the way that you included all of the women that have lost babies due to miscarriage & how that loss & the death gets dismissed. I never really thought about it that way or really thought about it at all. I had 2 miscarriages that both occurred within the 1st trimester & yes it is a terrible, terrible loss. The loss of the baby, the hopes & dreams for the life & future of the child & what we go through as women physically & emotionally definitely took its toll on me and I can’t imagine how it was for you to actually see Kelsie, hold her & truly have a bond with her. I hope that I’m not being too ( I don’t even know what word I’m looking for) depressing. It’s just when I read this it really touched me & brought back alot of feelings because unlike you, I don’t think about those miscarriages every day like you think of Kelsie every day. I want to thank you for sharing. I’m new to your blog so I’m not familiar with your story & I appreciate your openness & the empathy that you have for other women & the recognition of their losses. I wish you the best!

    Reply
    1. Melissa Muir Post author

      Thank you Lecia. I am sorry to hear what you have gone through as well. And no, I don’t find it depressing at all. It is amazing to me how things can just take you back to the time that it happened. If you hang out here at my blog a bit longer you will find that I am very open about all of it, in addition to sharing great and fun things when it comes to tools and jewelry. LOL. 🙂 Thank you so much and big hugs to you.

      Reply

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